Thursday, May 25, 2006
@2:57 AM
Mis-judgments
it's funny how some people portray you to be something that you're not. People picture you from how you look and behave - even if they don't know you very well.
it's even more funny when they tried to sound like they know me for a million years. yet they know nothing about the scars i had and the experiences i've been through...
it hurts when one makes a judgement about you which isn't true at all. it hurts even more when they said something which they have totally no idea of.
what makes them think i am such a person??? what makes them think i can be or do such a thing????
my 24 years of life hasn't been a very sweet story. i'm sure everyone of us has this really bad stories and experiences to bear. i'm not saying that i'm exceptional or been hurt so bad that i'm just this really pitiful girl who's out there trying to get some sympathy from friends and others.
other than the plentyful heartaches i've been through, what else have i lost, regretted and missed?
* i've lost someone whom i loved so dearly.....
* i've missed the many growing up happy moments with dad....
* i've lost my sense of belonging...
* i regretted not saying just how much those who was in my life before meant to me...
seriously there's just too much for me to name... and i guess its better not to mention anyway..
i havent been much of a sticky girlfriend really.. if you have been thru my love life, it's hard to ever say i've been a sticky girlfriend...
what makes a girlfriend - sticky?
* i broke up with my ex straight up when i found out he was two-timing me...
* i gave my first love another chance to re-kindle that magical moments we once shared but let it go cos everything was different...
* i trusted my ex that we went on long distance relationship...we each even had our own space..
* i stayed on for abit longer even when i found out what he did behind my back that caused me so much pain... i gave him so much space that he could do such a thing to me...
does all these make me a sticky girlfriend?????
* if so, i wld have stayed on and told my ex to leave the other girl when i found out he was two-timing..
* if so, then i wld have whined and complaint to my ex why that magical feelings juz disappeared
* if so, i wld quarrelled and called him 100 times a day when we were on long distance
* if so, i wld have threatened to kill myself , hunted and slapped that b***h down for even touching my bf!!!!!
but none of these mentioned above even happened...
it wasn't i didnt care.. i cared.. i even loved with all my heart.. but i knew that nothing will ever comes out of love that's being forced...
* what's the use of forcing him to choose me over her??? he didnt know who to choose so i kindly helped him out
* what's the use of whining and complaining to him when magical moments doesn't happen all the time??
* what's the use of quarrelling in a relationship and calling him 100 times a day when he could just easily lied to you his whereabouts and stuffs??
* what's the use of threatening to kill myself and wasting my energy to hunt down such a disgraceful b***h???
i trusted.. i spaced.. and i am true to myself of what i am to him in our relationship.
what's the point of being a sticky girlfriend when trust isn't there??
i guess people would never really know you until they have had been through with you.
don't judge me for something i'm not..
cos sometimes, it just hurts....
it hurts knowing that a friend like you doesnt even know or understand the person i am.
sure, outsiders usually is able to see what kinda the person i am more clearly.
but that doesn't hide the fact that i myself know thoroughly well the kind of person i am
even more so in a relationship
since you and i aren't together in such a special bond before,
please try not to make such falseful judgement....
i treat relationship seriously..
and most importantly,
Mutual Trust, Respect, and Communication
stands the highest priorities.
xoxox
