.its back again.

*()^&&)@#@#@!!! been having stomachaches for the past 2 days. waking up at 6ish 7 in the morning (even thou i slept at 4-5am). the pain juz wakes me up automatically. going to the toilet doesnt help much cos nothing is coming out. only thing for me to ease the pain is to put medicated oil on my tummy and back. it helps and the problem is i'm not able to wake up at 9am!!! and it actually screwed up my whole plan for the day. tomorrow is my law exam and i wanted to wake up early to start studying for it and now!!!! *)@^#@#@ anyway it has been like this since 2 days back. woke up at 6ish 7am... went back to sleep after putting the medicated oil..cldnt hear the alarm which i set at 9am...finally woke up to realise its already 12pm!!!! sigh....

anyway heard the movie INITIAL D is coming out. hehehehe staring EDISON CHEN, JAY CHOU AND JORDAN CHAN!!!! how cool is dat!? *dreamy sigh* yeah...i'm going mad. heres the link if anyone's interested to check out the movie trailer n etc www.initialdthemovie.com

alright... dats all for now. gotta hit the books. later pplz

.emotional-rush.

juz came back home from drinks with audrey n co. right now feeling the side-effects of the alcohol - depression. hahahah managed to change my blog skin before going out earlier on after getting the call from audrey. i guess its nothing very much fantasic but just feel like having a change. still looking for the perfect one.in many ways. waiting...wishing...hoping...praying.

i cant seems to put in words how i'm feeling right now. i can but its just not the right place to do it. as much as i try to think positively most of the time, everything juz swells up beneath and finally explore after awhile. well, more like every month. hahaha prob its juz PMS. oh well....

sometimes i juz wish dat things can just go my way. for once. i so miss that feeling... i really try my best to not think about it. but knowing other people being so happy and all just doesnt seems to help much. i mean i am happy for them being in that state but at the same time, i wish i'm part of them as well. i wish i am able to know who he is or how is he doing. its crazy i know. some things are just not much to be rushed. i guess i'm just used to the feeling of being lonely after being the only child for like 23 yrs and counting. as much as i wanna focus on other stuffs, it juz comes back to me. and i totally hate this feeling. fark this feeling. fark everything. it just sucks so much that i wish to just let everything go. i know it sounds stupid and childish but theres just no other way i can put it. i feel so lost..... i want to feel that sense of belonging again.. feeling of comfort... love and security. no point giving me good words and everything. yes prob it feels good for awhile. after that, it just doesnt matter cos i know that towards the end, its just me. and me alone.... why bother pretending? why give me those wonderful praises and everything? i know u're speaking the truth and trying to make me feel better. but look, i'm still me.... nothings changed. and i guess, nothing will for a long time... why are you doing this to me? cant u feel the hurt i'm in right now? what are you trying to prove to me? am i really one of god's messengers to all the other people around? i'm hurt.. and i'm lost.... cant you see?

.a smile.

finally had my presentation done today. missed last week cos i was sick. and it din go dat well. infact i felt like i was practically speeding throu my script and as much as i tried to pause and take a deep breath (trying not being nervous), i juz cldnt help but speed. yeah...bad.

i din really like this subject tutorial, other than the tutor being all warm and friendly, the classmates wasnt really that socialable. well dats how i felt anyway. din make any friends from this class as a matter of fact. except for this girl whom i talked to few times. anyway after handed up my script to the tutor, i felt really horrible.... cos of my terrible presentation. sick in my stomach. den this caucasian classmate of mine gave me a smile. i smiled back politely and it kinda picked me up. i looked back at him again and he juz gave me this nice smile. its quite amazing how a smile can pick someone up. really appreciate him for that :)

few nights ago i had this dream... quite interesting really. which explains the nickname i had on my msn. /babyboy & chris/ they are 2 guys whom i have never seen before. not sure what that dream really meant but cld be due to this relationship topic i had with benny before i went to bed. kinda hope it meant something thou. hahaha it'll be nice to meet babyboy and chris in reality. oh well... one could only hope

been stressed lately so dat kinda explains me not updating my blog lately. now i gotta go and revise my law... mid-term next tuesday.

later*

.23th birthday celebration.crazy sunday.mad monday.

Celebrated my 23th birthday last saturday. It was good. Had dinner at Nick's Seafood at Darling Harbour, took pics and den drinks at Cruise Bar. Wanted to go Posh Bar but the place was booked for private function. Well, next time i'll book a place and hold my birthday too. hehehehe. Anyway, Jason came over Cruise Bar for awhile and so did Aaron and Robin. Lyson came for my dinner n drinks althou he was feeling sick. hehehe what can i say? Hes such a great friend hey!! :P

Got a parcel from the mail on last friday and i was surprised dat Debby remembered my birthday and sent me a lovely necklace along with a card :) shes always dat sweet and lovely. Well girl, i too appreicate having you as my good friend for so many years and many more to come! Den got 2 birthday cards from Rongyao and Evan.

Reach home at about 2 plus in the morning after the drinks at Cruise Bar and i was sooo tired that i went straight to bed after. I finally tried the Tequila shots offered by dear old Lyson. It wasnt so bad. Not that strong an effect I thought it could do. hahahaha i've seen so many people getting trashed by Tequila shots n etc that it kinda scares me out when ppl offered me. Well, it wasnt too bad :) maybe cos i juz had 2 shots.. hahahahaha Lyson offered me more but... well, its not good to be trashed and whos gonna carry me back later!?!??!! me so heavy... kekekeke

i even gotten a new dress cos of my birthday dinner!! it was quite expensive really but karen said its not too bad. so yeah~ got it and wore it. lol. and its like once in a blue moon i wear a dress... kekekek i'm thinking of wearing it to my cousin's wedding.. hmm.. but its green... well. still early.

and so, saturday went by with a flash. sunday came. i was stoned. had to rush an assignment and a quiz which was all on monday, along with a presentation on tuesday. i was soooo farked. hahahahah been stressing myself out for the past few days and now finally its over. still got one more test to revise for on saturday. and another assignment to do which is due next week. once again, its all good. cos i've got more time now. have to work hard!! no more slacking!!

have fun looking thru the pics. gonna cook my dinner n study later.

missing u guys!

:: the cards from Evan(left:Brisbane) and Rongyao (right:Melbourne) :: thanks guys :) 

:: the gifts :: Davinia's. all the way from Melbourne!! so surprised to see it in the mail really. thanks heaps girl~ love e card n necklace*wink* 

:: the gifts :: Robin n Aaron 

:: the gifts :: Lyson's :)  

:: the gifts :: the lovely roses from dennis n audrey 

:: the gifts :: Audrey's  

:: Cruise Bar @ Circular Quay :: 

:: drinks @ Cruise Bar :: photographer of the night - Weiming and me 

:: drinks @ Cruise Bar :: Robin, Aaron, Lyson and me 

:: drinks @ Cruise Bar :: Robin, Aaron, Lyson, me and Jason 

:: after dinner @ darling harbour :: me n Lyson..acting cute again.. hahahahah 

:: after dinner @ darling harbour :: Me n Jamie 

:: after dinner @ darling harbour :: me n audrey 

:: dinner @ Nick's :: the lovely birthday cake Dennis & Audrey got for me. 

:: dinner @ Nick's :: Mr Pita with his lovely Jamie girl 

:: dinner @ Nick's :: pretty roses Dennis & Audrey gave me. *sweets* 

:: dinner @ Nick's :: charmingly sweet Dennis with moi sweetie pie Audrey :D 

:: dinner @ Nick's seafood :: Benny n Lyson...acting cute...*lol* 

:: dinner @ Nick's seafood :: Lydia n Benny 

:: my day :: karen got me a birthday cake~ 

:: birthday eve @ Kmix :: us being silly 

:: birthday eve @ Kmix :: me and correne 

:: my birthday eve @ Kmix :: Correne n her baby Alan