Loving my life right now :)

I love the way it has been for me. the ups and downs. the thicks and thins. the acceptance and the rejection of life.

i love how life has moulded me to be the person i am now.

so what if i'm imperfect?

so what if i have flaws?

nonetheless i'm able to take in all those shiet life has to offer me

just stand up and be a better stronger person.

i love being imperfect

i love being flawed

i love being torn and worn out

i love being thrown and spinned around.

there's always a rainbow after a storm.

and not forgetting that pot of gold that lies at the end of it.

right now i'm just enjoying that wonderful rainbow after such a long time.

i don't mind if there's no pot of gold.

i don't mind if it'll only last for a day.

as long as it's finally here. just breath in and take in this beautiful moment.

i don't care if you've thrown me aside after enjoying my company.

i don't care if you think suddenly you're such an important person.

i don't care about anything.

i've done enough caring. enough entertaining. enough whatevers. for now.

i'm drained out. washed up. torn apart.

i'm not a toy. i'm not a punching bag.

i'm just a human being.

Like you. Like him. Like her.

So now,

i'm enjoying what life has to offer me.

and i hope you do too~

xoxox

it's nice!!!!

it's soooo nice that

i hope my next boyfriend will sing this to me and actually meant it!

~

~

Yup.

Sounds like this guy is sooo overly obessessed with this girl.... :S

But it's really nice. Well I think it's nice.

Tried to look for the clip on youtube.com but they didnt have the original one.

The one they have in there doesn't sound that good.

This guy who was from the group Queen went solo and did his own version...

Still prefer the original one..

Plus what's up with the video clip anyway??

The guy was like so violent to the girl lor! its just plain wrong..

xoxox

My Sweetie Pie. My iDol.

Him in Action~*

can't wait to see him and the other guys in Japan soon!!

oh that's Keisuke by the way ^^*

the most shy Japanese i've ever known.

and also probably the one of the most crazy ones....

kinda contridicting but its true. lol.

they're one of the few many people i so truely missed ever since our departure 2005.

had the bestesst memories with them.

along with the bestest food.

and bestest drinking session.

and bestest late nights.

and bestest trips.

and bestest fun.

heheheheheheheh

hope u'll enjoy the short video clip!!!!

xoxox

it's going to be a very quiet week.. i hope it will be. Need to get my things done..

wanna head down to Uni one of this weekdays to get my notes printed out in slides handouts format and then grab from May some of the tutorial answers.

feel like getting a bouquet of roses too.. hmm.. still thinking about that. the pink lilies i gotten before lasted till last week. quite a long lifespan. but the fragrance just too strong.. mummy didn't really liked it. guess roses still a safer and better option~ hehehh

miss the roses in Sydney.. they're soo fresh, soo huge and soo affordable!!!!

oh welllz~

have to get my things going... 2 more weeks left... i need some motivation!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

... feeling hungry now...

i want a puppy..

:(

Oyasumi~*


xoxox

my Biatch and the boys!!!

+ AVRIL LAVIGNE +

u ROCK HARD BABE!!!! U GIBE ME THE VIBES~

U're tHE STAr Of mY lIfE....

.Nobody's Home.


.He Wasn't.


.Sk8er Boi.


.My Happy Ending.


.Slipped Away.



+ LINKIN PARK +

u GuyS ToTaLLy WiLDed Out!!~

ToTaLLy CutE & ToTaLLy AwESomE!!!!!

.Numb.


.Somewhere I Belong.

xoxox

Yipeee!!!

dark clouds. thunder roars.

it's gonna rain!!!!!!

i wanna dance in the rain some day.

so that it'll wash away all my sorrows and tears,

let me be a happier person once again

to welcome all new hopes and dreams with wide open arms

to say to everyone that

the joy~*

~

tra lalala~*

xoxox

me and my silly fairytale dreams...

prince charming.. white horses... fairy godmother..

how old are you now??? please wake up!!!!!!

there's no such thing as fairytales in this world. it's just make-believe for little kids!!

Hello!??!?!

why did u choose to walk down such a path for so many years??? did you not know what this kinda world is like after what you've been through for so long?!?!?! have you not learn from them????

me and my stupid dreams..

wishing to one day wake up and everything i have been dreaming and longing for will come true.

~

2 more weeks to my exams.. at least now i can fully concentrate on my revision..

i hope that you're now out of my mind after what you said to me earlier..

i guess you wouldn't know what you said just now really made me felt sooooo utterly bad. my heart dropped and i went dumb.. then tears starts falling.

for now i know that you never felt the same way i did for you. maybe not even the least bit.

~

xoxox

^^*

Had a good ending to a friday night... Just finished webcamming with my friend in Japan. Soooo happy to see him again. Though his english isn't that perfect but good enough for us to understand and converse with each other :)

i'm utterly satisfied.

He was at his friend's place and they were all having a night of drinking and chilling session. Man i missed the one we had one too many back in Sydney.... Usually he would take out his guitar and starts strumming...Then stopped suddenly becos he was shyyy..awwww~

He's a really good guitarist... Was in a band during his Uni days. Pity he has to stop it now because of the tight schedule with his work. Japan working hours is madness.....

~

Don't know why but lately just got this urge to see them all once again. It has definately been good memories with the whole bunch. Shy yet heaps of fun and warmth in everyone.

Really hope to see them someday soon in Japan...

~

i like being frank with my friends.. although at times it is of course inappropriate.

is this case considered as inappropriate???

Some said i should tell... Some said i should just keep hush.

i'm in a self-inflicted dilemma....

~

Have a good night everyone.


xoxox

-___-"

I don't understand why some people doesn't take me seriously. is it becos i don't look serious enough?? or there's this word(s) on me that reads she's a joker???

hmmmm....

i think i can understand now how these people feel when they're trying to be serious while others are laughing away, thinking what he/she said is a joke.

haahahahahah


xoxox

it's funny how some people portray you to be something that you're not. People picture you from how you look and behave - even if they don't know you very well.

it's even more funny when they tried to sound like they know me for a million years. yet they know nothing about the scars i had and the experiences i've been through...

it hurts when one makes a judgement about you which isn't true at all. it hurts even more when they said something which they have totally no idea of.

what makes them think i am such a person??? what makes them think i can be or do such a thing????

my 24 years of life hasn't been a very sweet story. i'm sure everyone of us has this really bad stories and experiences to bear. i'm not saying that i'm exceptional or been hurt so bad that i'm just this really pitiful girl who's out there trying to get some sympathy from friends and others.

seriously there's just too much for me to name... and i guess its better not to mention anyway..

i havent been much of a sticky girlfriend really.. if you have been thru my love life, it's hard to ever say i've been a sticky girlfriend...

it wasn't i didnt care.. i cared.. i even loved with all my heart.. but i knew that nothing will ever comes out of love that's being forced...

i trusted.. i spaced.. and i am true to myself of what i am to him in our relationship.

what's the point of being a sticky girlfriend when trust isn't there??

i guess people would never really know you until they have had been through with you.

don't judge me for something i'm not..

cos sometimes, it just hurts....

it hurts knowing that a friend like you doesnt even know or understand the person i am.

sure, outsiders usually is able to see what kinda the person i am more clearly.

but that doesn't hide the fact that i myself know thoroughly well the kind of person i am

even more so in a relationship

please try not to make such falseful judgement....

xoxox

Thank You.....

++ i'll never forget the meals u cooked for me and how you looked at me when i was cooking for you.. i'll never forget how u tried to disturb me when i was putting in my 101% attention and love to make your meal..i'll never forget how much fun we had and especially when you just had to carry me up.. ++

++ the hot chocolate from Starbucks we shared in the cold windy street of Sydney..the quiet moment we shared at the harbour just looking at how beautiful that night was..how we tried to keep each other warm in that shivering cold..the boring IMAX short movie we caught..the scarf i put on u while u were on the phone n how cute u looked with it..the windy boat ride in brisbane..the long walks back and forth..++

++ i'll always remember all those laughters you gave me... all the big warm hugs you showered me.. all the sweet kisses from me to you and you to me.. i'll always remember our first and our last nights together.. ++

++ you were one of the few that i could feel so much and loved so much.. you gave me hope.. you gave me encourgement.. you were my strength of pillar.. you were there when i was lost n lonely.. you were my light in the cold darkness.. ++

++ you were my everything... ++

++ i'll always remember that sweet autumn/winter 2005... ++

xoxox

All About Me!

what to do when there's nothing much to write about but people just want to read new posts????

E A S Y

write all about me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




kekekekekeke~*

well not exactly all about me lahz... since my life is sooo boring when i'm in Malaysia.. nothing much actually happens here, especially when i dont go out much n everything.

so i'm juz gonna show everyone my little garden~

hahahahaahahahahahahahah*

what can i say?
i LOVE my little garden ^^*

last week got 2 stalks of pink lilies from the florist near my Uni~

aren't they prettyyyy????
plus they lasts for the longest time!!!!

alright.. that's the end of a mindless entry~ LOL

have a good week ahead!!!!!!!




xoxox

Check this out!!!!!

he's goood!!!!!!!


http://www.ebaumsworld.com/videos/evolution-of-dance.html



xoxox

Sgcarmart.com

Spent the whole night surfing thru sgcarmart.com and saw one of the many beautiful cars around town. Singapore that is :)

saw afew beauties but obviously their prices is as elegant as the whole works. i even saw a pink benz!!! *lol*

among them, i found some i really like. i actually feel like going to check out how the car loans are like among the banks. den calculate and see how much i can go to get the car i am able to afford.

below are just some of the loving ones that caught my eye......

Back!!

Man.. this week has been reallllyy tough. rushing my last assignment for this semester. went to Uni every single day and returning home during the evenings.. finally got everything done on friday. Phew~*

Glad the weekends here. able to catch up alittle on my beauty sleep. And dad's coming back in about 7 days' time, i think..

oh plus school's out!!!! that means its time to work on my revision. yup~ have have have to pass this semester.. that's all i have to say.

been on the Net lately and havent got anything nice to surf...nothing that i could find that is.. so went surfing about Youtube.com. good stuff. heheheheheh currently looking for this clip by Eminem.

I'm sure SOME of you people out there know about this story i experienced many many months ago. it was really some sick shit i have to say. couldn't think straight until i came back Singapore and finally set everything back to the way it should have been long ago.

Can't believe i still hung around that time. hoping that something might be done to get back my trust. but nothing happened and it was treated as though as per normal days. it was crazy.

what was even more nasty was there claimed to be apparently this really faithful and loyal person around. Claimed to never ever cheat or hurt in a relationship before. what nonsense!! all bull crap. sure there was some nice times together. slowly trust beginning to build up. only to be destroyed and definately torn by some stupid actions done by someone. there was even an invitation to one of my best friends for a one night stand. like wth man.. pls if u wanna do some shit like that, go King's Cross or if u dont wanna pay for it, go to some dodgy clubs/pubs and pick up others. u dont go sleeping around with her besties. dont u have any sense of respect?!?!?!

and whats this thing about 'making our dreams come true' ??? when something's over, its over dude. there's no more dreams. no more hopes. it comes down to zero!!!! if you dont know the rules of such relationships, dont claim to be someone who's always the victim and loyal one. don't give people like such a bad name.

even if i'm truely looking for a greener pasture out there, i wouldnt have chosen you. you seriously arent that great as compared to those hanging out in the streets.

now you still got the guts to ask me out for coffee??!?!?! u think i have forgotten about what happened?!?!?! you were the one who promised me something so important and so true. look what u have done.

so what if it only lasted for less than 5 mins???? u think that matters?! geez!!! pls grow up. if that thing is in, its in. i dont give a damn if its 5 mins, 5 secs or whatever!!

to think i put some hope on you.

i'm happy you're actually getting married. really i am. i'm soo delighted. but at the same time, i wonder... you claim to be a devoted christian.. ur family is of such high statuts.. yet a person like you could do such a thing.. seriously.. dont tell me religion has got nothing to do with this. this just shows how matured and religious you are to handling life.

Please don't EVER EVER give Love a bad name. its existance of such people which destroys the hope, the purity and the dreams of Love... i loft such people!!

i twitch whenever the thought of you comes into my mind. i twitch when you even got the guts to say hi to me. i twitch thinking back when you looked into my eyes and said the three words to me.

They say time heals all wounds. My wound has definately been healed the moment i'm back home. But buddy, nothing has ever changed to the way i feel about you. The hurt, the tears and that very moment remains deep inside me.

Guess what??? I found a song which totally describe the way I feel about this whole thing. Mostly about you.

Hope you have a nice day and Enjoy the clip. It has your name on it~ :)






It has been a long time ago. I'm sooo over it but juz wanna tell the whole world about it and also to get this off my chest.

and Boy! it sure feels good!!!! LOL

xoxox

Juz reached home not long ago. Gonna fetch daddy to the airport in afew more minutes. hes still packing n all now.

Yesterday was soooo tiring.. morning had discussion with may and cindy for CFTP till lunch time. Had lunch at Seaview and got a little accident there which left Cindy pretty angry about it.. -__-"

supposed to have another meeting after lunch for the ICF presentation on thursday but my group members couldnt make it last minute as they needed more time to finish up this other assignment which was due then. so called up mummy and drove back home.

daddy wanna go Seremban to get some pumps and other supplies for his new pond in the garden. we drove up there at around late noon cos we waited for the electrical personal to come. by the time we reached my uncle's place (he stays in Seremban) it was almost 6plus.

Headed up to the aquarium and nearly spent two hours there!! luckily there was the fishes there to keep me fasinated for the first an hour or so.. even took some pics of them along with a short clip of these HUGGGEEEEEEEEEEE fishes!!! u wouldnt believe how disgustingly huge they are!!!

then i even saw this really grossed-out incident with a living long-neck turtle and a dead one.. i was actually clinging my dear life onto my mummy while watching the whole thing in shock!!

...the living long-neck turtle was actually eatting the dead long-neck turtle...

damn gruesome lor!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

anyway, we finally left Seremban after dinner with the folks and reached home at bout 11plus.. i was trying hard not to doze off on our drive back cos my dad was already yawning away and trying to look himself awake.. he even waited to visit another of our relatives in seremban when it was already so late!!!!!!!

Parents. -__-"

this morning's lecture was short and sweet. the lecture itself ended in like an hr's time. me and may came late due to the daily morning jam but it started raining heavily which made the jam even worse!!! heard dat the lecturer himself was late too..

after which he discussed with us the last tutorial questions as this is already the last week of the semester. that only lasted for like another hour, plus he brief us through the final exam formats n all as well..

called up mummy and had a quick breakkie drink with the girls while waiting for her.

starting to feel sleepy now.. think i'm gonna juz rest on the sofa until everyone is ready to go..

xoxox

i NEED some retail-theraphy...

this coming week is gonna be horrendous for me.. one last assignment due this week, along with a presentation on thursday. plus daddy's flying for indonesia on tuesday for 10 days - business trip.

tomorrow is gonna be almost a full day.. discussion from 9am till 1pm.. den 1pm till 3pm is another group discussion.. tuesday i gotta send my daddy to the airport.. wednesday is packed too.. thursday presentation and gotta finish up everything by then for the assignment..

then theres the final exams revision studies to do.. the provisional timetable is out. better not talk bout it cos i dont wanna fail.. its bad luck to talk bout it on blogs..

so.. before my great week starts, got a sudden urge to check out the bags n accessories online - ONLINE SHOPPING!!!

i did buy one item from eBay once but it turned out kinda bad.. so it wasnt a good experience for me to actually shop online. from eBay that is -hehehehh-

i went to check out the other sites - www.Amazon.com Saw many really tasty stuffs in there!!! but very very sadly, they doesn't seem to ship any items to neither Singapore nor Malaysia.... very sad lor!!!!

and i even found this really really beautiful bag!!! then again.. with that price tag, dont think i'll be able to afford it IF they really does ship here... hehehehehehehhh BUT it IS a very very beautiful bag!!!!

i wannnnnnnnnnn........... -__-"

then theres this nice pretty shades.. good bargain too! except there's the shipping thing.. ARGH~

anyone of u out there knows of any good online shopping sites?? pls do recommend :)

as for now.. its back to reality..

oh and one more thing, get well soon Lynn!!!! we'll do our trip next time *winkz* all the best for ur final exams revision too~

xoxox

My Beloved Ones

was watching Spanish Apartment (for the 2nd time) on cable TV earlier. totally remindeds me of all my international friends i gotten to know during my 3 yrs in Sydney and my life back then.

many a times i have to admit that i'm just being too naive... but with that, i am blessed with having so many great friends from all over the world and walks of life...

my life would never be so much more fun, interesting, colorful and worthwhiled without them.

they give me new hopes, new challenges, new experiences each and every passing day.

i can be very easily amused and touched by even the littlest words or actions from my friends.

i appreciate their every kind offerings, encouragements, love and kisses.

a dear friend of mine even sent me a birthday email when i didnt even tell him it was my birthday, he seen it somewhere... -that i was definately surprised and touched-

interestingly was that i found out later he did something else too, which he knew will bring a smile to my face...

anyway, this is juz a short post..

For all my friends out there,
thanks for being part of my life.
thanks for all those crazy times we spent together.
I love you all and hope that we'll keep this special thing going
forever and ever...





i miss you all... very very much...


xoxox

Let us just let the pictures do the talking, shall we? : )

kinda lazy to blog.. not feeling the greatest.. hehehh*

but the lunch was good.. too much food thou!! it was crazy!!!!





***

3 more weeks to finals now.. can feel the stress building up inside me...

going mad soon... -__-"


xoxox

What A Week!

Juz reached home from the weekend back Singapore. the elections was good. PAP won (thank god) though few disappointed with such results. its weird how others feel bout PAP after what they have done for us... anyway shall not talk about politics..

So what's been going on for the last week? Let's do a quick recap..

Tuesday - Wednesday
Gaz arrived to KL. Brought him around Sunway and visited the theme park too. he came to KL before so we skipped the KLCC and the whole city part. Juz Sunway itself, since his stay was short too. Think i over-stretched one of my calf muscles while walking the long bridge and back in the Theme Park.. the next few days i was kinda walking around with a lil right limp. heheheheh~

Didn't have any idea what to do after the shopping and everything, ended up playing few games of pool at the new hotel next to the Resort Hotel - Pyramid Tower Hotel. It was good. Enjoyed the pool and a glass of Chardonney.




Thursday - Now
made a quick decision to head back Singapore for the weekends due to the elections back home. definately a lucky break for me!! been dying to go back Spore again.. its always nice being back there with my family and friends. least it puts me away from depression.

managed to meet up with some new friends too on Friday. It was the Balaclava gathering along with alot of what-notz till the wee hours of the night. We ended everything by heading down to Meridian Hotel to play pool until it closed - 330am. and shared the cab back home after.

Saturday was family dinner get-togther and coffee/deserts meetup with Phil n others. Wanted to catch a late night movie but everything was out, cept the later time slots.. too late anyway..

Sunday chilled at home with grandparents n mummy till towards the evening then met up with Elliot and Philip. Supposed to go Sim Lim to check out the laptops but.. hahahhahahaha long story.. right Phil? along the way, something suddenly came up and we all headed to the hospital to visit my baby Lynn... that poor lil thing.. Glad she's alright now..

Get Well Soon Lynn!!

Monday down to KL... dreaded.. now i'm feeling that sense of sadness back again.. *sigh*


" Thanks for accompanying me on Sunday at the hospital. Sorry that u had to drive me back home after.. hehehhe nice seeing you again though :) "


Lecture tomorrow morning.. 3 more weeks left..


xoxox