.plans.excitement.confusion.honesty.lies.depression.counting down to my special day.

been staying home for the past few days. well, juz today and yesterday. heheheh its good. i was able to catch up on my sleep (and dreams) and juz simply laze around at home. wanted to do some reading up as well but i swear time juz flew past me in a blink of an eye!!! plan to read up on my International Financial Management after the phone conversation with jonathan chong and darling jonathan lee but... the weather was tooo good to sleep *blush* what can i say? *sigh*

juz 1 more day to my 23rd !!!!!! so excited!!! hahahaha at the same time, feeling kinda down. in my 22 years and 364 days, so many things have happened. sometimes i wish i can go back in turn and change it - spend more time on my studies, my family and with my aunt who passed last year...... and many others which i shld not list. my dear aunt... i really miss her so much. each time i think of her, tears juz cant stop flowing down my cheeks. even right now... i really regret not being there for her funeral. i feel so bad about it. part of me still feels so guilty about the whole thing. it has been so long, i know i shldnt talk about it, but it juz gets to me every now and then. i really feel like a letdown in so many ways... how i wish i can just redo everything over again. to change the time when i let people down. so everyone will be happy around me.. i only want to bring happiness into every of my loved ones' life. i'm really sorry to cause you so much pain and disappointment... i know you love me no matter what happens.. sometims i just feel i dont deserve it all. theres alot of people out there who does. people who can achieve so much more than i can... i'm juz a simple girl.. a simple letdown....

i would like to thank everyone who has been there for me. those people who showed me how much they cared. friends who called me up unexpectedly, asking if i'm fine. friends who been thru the thick and thin... i really thank you all for being there all these while. you people know who you are. you all shld know how much i treasure friendships. its part of my life. you guys are part of my life. without you people, i'll be lost and hope-less. there might be times where our friendship is being put on a test, but we got through it. for those i havent seen or heard for years, you're still in my heart. every hour, every minute, every second. for you are not forgotten as well :)

in life, there are different kinds of people we meet. you all shld know, after so many years. i would say that i've been lucky to be meeting so many wonderful people who are real and true. but of cos, there're the ones who are fake and scandalous. i jus dont get whats the fun of it all? dont you find it tiring? hiding secrets and backstabbing and telling lies? what do you get out of it really? in friendships, i believe in honesty and trust. i take all opinions with open arms. i got honest views and voices out from my friends - be it good or bad. i accepted it all and we talked it through. its healthy and just makes the whole relationship stronger. so tell me, why are you hiding stuffs from others? do you find it thrilling? exciting? a sense of adventure??? i'm just glad sometimes i'm able to see whos been truthful and whos been fake. i wouldnt say much out until its really getting out of hand. seriously, i'm a very easy-going person but once u get it on way too much, thats just it. i might juz pop and yeah.... dont think anyone except for my mum and granadparents seen me 'pop'. created a heck of a scene eons back cos of some stuff. hahahaha. prob some of u guys heard it. well i find it quite amusing and felt really 'paiseh' later when everyone there started apologising. (chuckles)

anyway!! yup. my birthday is coming!!!!!! i really hope i'll enjoy it this year.... pls pls pls~ but i wun be hoping too much. juz in case its not what i excited it to be. hahahaha. got a birthday card from him yesterday :) very sweet of him. havent receive any birthday cards thru snailmail for quite sometime back. hahaha either handed it to me personally or via email :P

ok...i better stop typing.. else someone gonna say me again. *bleah*

p.s Audrey's place nearly got broke into today!!! scared the shit outta me when she told me what happened. someone hacked into the door and tried to break it down. like wtf!?!??!! hello people, this is australia for you guys who're keen on coming here. hhahahahahahaha but seriously, its scary!!! like those u watch on e movies. wat the heck man....

.Wine.Dine.Chill.Friends.Shop.Wollongong.Horse Rides.

havent been blogging for the past few days. has been pretty busy as a matter of fact. hehehehe. but here are the updates.

24th March (Thursday)
stayed over at audrey's place few nights ago after the wine drinking session over her place. drank till she ran out of wine and had to restock them the next day. hahahaha it was quite a nice time. we all laughed till our tummy aches. havent had that for awhile. christian, sylvia, aaron, joe and jescho was all there. aaron and joe left not long after. my friend stan popped by for awhile and drove back home after awhile. cleared up everything, had a lil chat with audrey and it was a good night :)

shopping!!! got this fab white furry jacket from JayJay and it looks like a million bucks! of cos it costs much much less. hahahahha both me and audrey bought it, as silly as it sounded. it was really worth the price. audrey gotten her shoes, clips, and clothes while i gotten few tops and that was it. later met up with weiming and pita for drinks at Opera Bar. then finally gotten to see Mr Dennis face to face at cargo bar later during the night. he was with his mates and it wasnt too bad. not bad at all. he invited us to go for dinner with his mates down at Temasek the next day. the food was good! but it was sooooo far i swear - Paramatta. after the fabulous dinner, we went over his friend's place for drinks and then later was when audrey received calls from christian, wanting to go over her place for drinks. hahahahah and so the night went on.... that was when i stayed over audrey's place.

25th March (Friday)
woke up at 9ish am to head to the toilet and went back to sleep... den finally woke up at 12ish pm and audrey said to meet christian at 1pm their place for lunch. i manage to sleep at around 5am after the lil chat we had before and also had a small conversation with jonathan via msn till 4 plus. anyway, both of us finally got up and dragged ourselves out of the house at around 1ish pm. suppose to be at christian's place at 1pm but yeah. hahahahaha. it was drizzling when we came out. lunch was good. hanyu made roasted pork and it tasted (and looked) beautiful. there was veges with chicken and also fried ikan billis (i think). we had porridge. simple meal :)

after lunch, called up correne and we all head down to East Garden to shop around. audrey got her bottles of wine. christian, hanyu and david got their groceries along with alcohol too. correne got her meat and i got whatever i needed. hahahaha meanwhile, i was thinking whether to head down with audrey to dennis's bbq.... but i was sooo tired and needed some rest. in the end correne invited me over for dinner and i decided to skip the bbq. audrey head back earlier to get ready for the bbq while me n correne left to rush back to cook dinner. later the night, robin popped over correne's place and we chatted. den he drove me back home. manage to sleep at 2am.

26th March (Saturday)
woke up at 9ish am and lazed around on my bed, too tired... was suppose to get my butt outta bed and get ready for the wollongong trip. correne called at 10am n told me daylight savings had started. which meant we're now only 2 hrs ahead of spore!! yeah~ 1 more hr for us during that day. managed to get outta the house in time, went up with correne, cherlyn and thomas at railway station and drove down to wollongong. on our way there, we stopped at Darkes Forest for our 1hr horse riding forest trail ride! was sooo excited about it. but i felt sick on the car.... still, alls good when we got there. i had this reaaallyyy huge and lovely horse name Chucky. hes 20 yrs old. hehehehe and tamed. the horse ride was good but i was left with really aching thigh the next day......

stopped over at Bulli's Lookout and took some pics. reached Wollongong and visited the Nan Tian Temple and later the lighthouse. it was really beautiful. the lighthouse that is. hahahahaha. we then left Wollongong at about 6pm. wanted to eat KFC there but cldnt find any. so we got out of Wollongong and had it back in Sydney instead. my gosh~ it was like the most full KFC meal i ever had...... finally reach home and then accompanied Karen out to get dinner. In the end we went to Maccas down at Circular Quay. after which headed down to Opera Bar and ordered one drink... left the place early cos Karen wasnt feeling too good. but she decided to have gelato before we leave..... hahahahaha~ well and as usual, i ended up finishing most of it cos she was tooo full. *sigh* anyway, Stan was kind enough to offer to drive us back home as he was around the area and we were waiting for this bus that never seems to come...... ffiinnaaalllyyyy reach home and got to bed.

TODAY!!!
oh!! before i forgot, HAPPY EASTER EVERYONE!!! and happy belated birthday lyson! :)

today.. hmmmm... i did my whole laundry today. happy bout it. finally wash all my dirty clothes the whole day. hehehehe. i washed my bedsheets n everything too. then Karen had to go Darling Harbour to get her shoes from Foot Locker so i accompanied her down. we later went to have pancakes and ice-creams at Passionflower. after which head back home and here i am, updating my life to you guys. yup. and tomorrow, gonna go to Easter Show with audrey n some SSA ppl. so therefore, i'm gonna have an early rest.

i feel really flattered and very 'pei fu' if you have read until here. becos i realised dat whatever i wrote up there, it really crappy. hahahahahah but guess i'm too tired to make everything sounds better. you know what i mean. meanwhile, very happy that i got my horse riding after so many years. the last time i rode on a horse was in Beijing,China and that was like eons ago!! when i was in primary school!! hahaha well, looking forward to this saturday :)

will post up the photos later.

nite everyone..

.windy day.

lately has been raining everyday that i cldnt even do my laundry. sianx. actually planned to do my laundry today but changed my mind since the weather has been like this for the few days. the other day i did mine and during the night, it was raining like cats and dogs. drenched the clothes and had to rewash them again. spoil my clothes, waste the water and my precious time. kekekekeke~

but then again the weather was good. in the sense that it was sooooo cold, you will want to just hybernate in the bed for the day. been waking up late too. which is bad. wasted my mornings. felt like i'm back to my old days again. late nights and woke up late in e morning/early afternoon. gotta change!!!

good news is i'm feeling much better. not so depressed anymore :) and audrey got back her $200. apparently the internet transaction din get thru but the bank charged her $2.50 for transfer fee.

in about approximately 1 week and 1 day is gonna be my 23rd birthday.... how do i feel bout it? well, mixed feelings i guess. things hasnt been going smoothly since i reach the digit '2'. going downhill in a way. right now i just wish that things will improve soon. and i really hope that i'll enjoy celebrating my bday this year. 21st bday was, sad to say, shit. a party booper decided not to go clubbing becos it was late (was raining that night n we all waited for it to be better) and he was lazy. fark shit. i din have a good impression of him either. anyway there was MY friends who was good enough to wanna go but i guess it was too late. no i'm not being unfair to dat guy who said he was lazy and late as it was HIM was suggested to wait for the weather to turn better. i still dislike him eitherway. anyway its juz a uni-mate. no biggie. my 22nd was not too bad. hoshiko(jiayu) n co celebrated it with me, along with Alex. hahahah and he made me drink this dark liqorious-like drink. not too bad but later on it made me felt kinda drank. puked on the floor. hahahah cldnt be stuffed to go to the toilet cos i'll just puke on the way there!! which wld be sooooo much more embarressing....

got a feeling not many people will be turning up at this party. some has private moments to spend with their loved one and while some will be...busy. my baby audrey will be there :) shes always so 'onz and steadyz' kekekeke. our robin gor will be coming too. along with aaron and bimian. lyson might be joining.and Karen too!! hmmm... seems like the male population is standing out! hahahaha 4 males:3 females. well most importantly is i hope WE all get to enjoy ourselves. yeah.. cross my fingers this yr will be good. still waiting for more people to confirm with me bout their attandance.

so, what did i do today... nothing much as usual. the weather was bad to go out. it was bad to do laundry. francisco din go to work today cos hes sick which also meant dat he din come over my place n pass me back my swipe card. doesnt matter cos i havent got any plans on today anyway. had tummy cramps. ordered pizza. wrote out the stuffs i gotta do during VC Week. thinking bout whether to go Easter Show. bitching with Audrey. and Evan. pondering about some issues. looked around my room for things to tidy up. hmmmm shld i buy flowers to put in my room? need to get more clothes else i'll juz freeze to death in winter. need to get a new jacket/coat. need to find a job. oh!! tomorrow i gotta send out 2 mails for 4 special people. hahahaha. gonna meet up with audrey tomorrow to do some shopping.

in the mean time, I GOTTA STUDY!!!!! have to head down to the library soon. juz afew steps away from my place and i still cant be stuffed to go. wth. need some motivation.

tonight is gonna be cold again. might be meeting a new friend tomorrow too. *excited*

cheers.

.Secret Garden.

today, i skipped my classes. yes...decided to juz skip today's lesson reason becos? well, i just needed a break. need to sort out my head. was chatting with jonathan on msn through the whole night till 8 the next morning. slept in and was woken up by the phone ring which turned out to be looking for the wrong person. checked my mobile and it was like 1pm. realised audrey sent me an sms at 11am asking if i wanna meet up with her in the city. hehehehehe. smsed her back and yeah. met up with her and robin at opera bar for coffee and cakes. it was a nice day.... juz sitting there enjoying the cool breeze and looking at the beautiful harbour bridge... thinking...

well, he didnt reply me. din bother at all.. watever. expected it i guess. i'm juz not sure if we're still friends. *Sigh* i shld do something bout it. for myself that is.. i shld... but i'm juz... *sigh* what can i say? some ppl juz cant accept it or he juz din bother at all. really wonder if he'll answer my calls. kinda scared to call him cos... i dont know.. what am i doing? i dont know too. this is crap. i know the rules but sometimes one juz cant help it. things we do to mentally torment ourselves.....

trying to distract myself from thinking too much. but seriously i shld do something bout myself. i juz need to lose some. and i'll be alright.

gonna hit back to my law books now.... *sigh*

:: the majestic sydney harbour bridge :: 

:: Opera Bar outdoor :: 

.Staring Out.

currently suffering from pre-monday blues. lately have been feeling so depressed that i went to bed feeling so freaking sad and drag waking up every morning. yes. i think i'm suffering from depression again. the party few nights ago did not really help much. instead i think it made me feel even worse in some ways. got home and was staring out for awhile. lost somewhere. trying to find myself. i could not explain the way i'm feeling right now. its almost like i've lost faith in everything. lost faith in myself, my hopes, my dreams... i cant feel it no more. i feel so out of place. so unwanted. unneeded. unloved. unwelcomed. un-everything-ed.

i really wish that i can get out of this soon. this feeling seems to haunts me every month. as much as i try to get it out of my head, it somehow finds its way back in. tormenting me.. i dont feel like going to uni tomorrow... i would like to see someone there but part of me just doesnt care. i tried eating chocolates to smooth out my feelings but i think it juz made it worse... blogging seems to help...

so whats new? *sigh* i seriously need to go to this lecture tomorrow.. i havent been attending it since the 1st week of uni. reason is because it clashes along with my other subject. both subjects having the same lecture time. like how bad can that be? but thankfully i did this subject before but i kinda feel bad for missing out all 3 lectures of it. its bad really. i dont know what to say.

i really hope he will call me this week. part of me knows that it is not going to happen as much as i wish and hope it would. in a way it could be a blessing in disguise. i thought he would not be the rest of them. but i guess... hes juz one of them actually. part of me wants to just erase the thought out of my head but be realistic girl. its how life is suppose to be. if u're not part of them, u would not be able to be part of the game. as simple as that. Life!

i know that i should not be like this. i shld be strong.. live life to the fullest and not care what others think. but sometimes... juz sometimes, even the strongest falls. and thats when they fall deep. as much as i want to hide the real me from the whole world, once in awhile it juz creeps out. being all weak and hopeless and devastated. i guess in a way, i did bring this to myself. if i didnt think so much, if i just do nothing. i'll just be happier and be comtempted with what i have. but instead, sometimes i just tend to do the most silliest thing and get what i deserve. hahahahahhaa. all i want is something. something real. something true. if it doesnt turn out the way i hope it would, at least it was/is something. right?

11pm liao... time to either go to bed or catch up on my readings. been saying that for the past few days and i did nothing.... meanwhile, i really hope that he will call... if he doesnt, well, so be it. its still cool.

cheers*

.hours till the dance party.

here i am... sitting infront of karen's computer and waiting for time to pass. was working on my business law exercise earlier on n left juz one more question to go. read through avril's blog juz now n suddenly realised that, well, i'm turning 23 and... well, i dont know. basically this is a very 'bo liao' entry. i've got nothing to do. i'm suppose to go through my readings and do my tutorials but its too cold!!! ahhahahaha what an excuse hey *grin* seriously, it is very cold today... kinda worried bout later if i shld wear my furry brown coat or juz a shawl. i might just freeze to death later wearing only a shawl, plus its quite a hassle bringing one. but if i wear my brown coat, people might think i'm mad cos its more like for winter n all. *shrugs* i'm in a dilema!!!!

easter day is coming soon. next friday is gonna be good friday. i am feeling so bored and cold!!!!!!! *sob*

its 3pm liao.. juz realised dat my blog time hasnt been changed yet. still following singapore's time zone. kekekkkk

argh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

what is this? well, lemme say it again. its just a 'bo liao' entry... what should i do now? jonathan was so bored with nothing to do at perth that he went for a haircut and later nobody realised dat he had a new haircut. its true. when u've got nothing to do, u'll juz go and do something stupid, only later realising it was a stupid thing to do. this is australia people. theres nothing to do in australia!!!!!!! audrey went golfing.. with jiayu.. both of them signed up for the course. is it juz me or is it seriously cold right now?!?!?!?!?!?! i juz cant stop whining about it i swear. i think its becos i've got nothing to do. its cold!!! my fingers are freezing... but i love winter. i rather freeze to death than being evaporated into millions of droplets under intense heat.

6 more hours to go... things i need to do - choose an outfit. shower. do my hair. makeup. shawl/coat. find the location. hope i wouldnt lost my way there. dunno if its gonna be fun this time round. how shld i get back home after the party?

lalalalalalalallalalalalalalallalalalalala~

ok. i shall go and check if my clothes dry yet. washed them last night and apparently it was raining heavily. didnt take the clothes in and yeah. had to rewash them this morning again. and lemme say just one more thing...
ITS SO BLOODY COLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

cheers* kekekekek

.Changes.

yes. i've finally took some time out to change my blogskin.
seriously, its not that great.
but i love the movie HONEY and i love jessica alba
saw the other selections of jessica alba design and well..... lets juz say its not really my cup of tea.
anyway she looks good in this pic hey?

might be changing it another time.
thought of going for a better and more 'interesting' skins but
right now i'm having a headache
think i had too much chocolates juz now.
went shopping today with karen and we bought some stuffs.
sales are starting you see. yes. get the idea? hehehe

plus easter is coming so dat kinda explains the chocolates too?
hahahaha

oh damn!!!!! i juz remember that i'm suppose to get something from Mayers!!!!! %$@*^
cant believe i forgotten bout it... and i was wondering there was something i missed out....

well lately i'm reading. yes~ finally pick up the habit of reading after such a long time.
current read: Hes Just Not So Into You.
its good. a good self-help book. totally recommended for all female readers. and.. anyone whos interested to know all about guys. yup.

this is not good....
the headache is starting to get to me...
and its cold tonight!!!
which is good.

beta go back to my room n rest.
tomorrow heading down to Oxford for the LUST party.
organised by UNSW SSA (Singapore Student Association).
one of my female group member will be coming with her boyfriend. dats sooo cool!
really hope that tomorrow will be fun.
right now juz worried about my trip back home after
and the money-transfer.....

cheers*

"Dear Jeff" Letter

Dear Jeff,

How I wish,
that one can turn back time,
back when we were young.
when things was simplier,
where there was just you and me,
where we knew nothing,
bout the birds and the bees.

you were the one who taught me,
the whole meaning of love.
you brought me laughter,
anticipation, tears and pure joy.
though you left me,
reasons unknown back then,
my love for you still remains.

but now its a whole different kind of love.
its now a love of sweet memories,
a love of hope.
letting me know there is such a feeling in this world,
a love as pure as the first born infant,
a love only my heart knows.

we kept in touch and decided to give it another try.
but the feeling wasnt there anymore,
it wasnt the same as before.
cause you and i have grown up,
being mould into something different in some ways.
and sadly, i let go.
for i do not wish to forget,
that once special feeling you gave me
i was your first, your one and your only then.
till now, it still remains
in that special place of my heart.

but where are you now jeff?
i try to find you everywhere,
it seems you just disappeared.
you are the first guy who gave me love,
you are the first guy who touched my heart.
you, waiting for me everyday after school.
sometimes i wondered if you ever went to school yourself,
because you seems to be at the gate,
the moment i came out.

i still remember,
the first time i saw you.
you took my breath away.
i am glad you stayed on after our first meet up.
i still remember,
our numberous chat session at the marble table.
the first time you held my hand.
our small adventures everywhere.
the $2 heart i folded for you cos you did not want to accept my money.
the childish nonsense you got into.
i still remember,
our first 'playground' at ToyRUs Marine Square.
the first time you playfully tried,
to punch my face when i was not looking.
i still remember,
Savage Garden being your favourite band.
it became my favourite later too.
But now they are no longer there,
and so are you.

ever since i came to australia for my studies,
i dont hear from you no more.
do you know that i am in Australia now?
i remember telling you before...

Dear Jeff,
i hope you are doing fine right now.
those stories you told me of over the phone,
really worries me cause it seems you are still living in your old ways.
i dont know if you are still there
i dont know if you still remembers me

Dear Jeff,
please give me a sign.
be it in my dreams or some other ways.
tell me you are doing alright.

Dear Jeff,
i dreamt of you many many months ago.
I felt you near but i was not able to see you clear

Dear Jeff,
I have forgotten to tell you
how much you meant to me.

Dear Jeff,
i have forgotten to tell you
how much i care

Dear Jeff,
i have forgotten to tell you that

i really miss you alot......

* where are you? *
* where art thou *

2nd week - Stress accumulating

its only the 2nd week and i'm already feeling the stress. this semester isnt gonna be easy i feel. alot of reading ups to do n i seriously need to get a p/t job. the exchange rate for MYD:AUD isnt very favourable now. apparently its increasing n why am i looking at MYD? hahaha well dads workin in Msia so yeah.

finally manage to upload pics using HELLO. my laptop been giving me problems lately n its going kinda slow. gotta reformat it soon i guess. when i got the time n programs 1st dat is. finally got part of my enrolment settled. the system allows me to take up IA and now i'm gonna enrol myself to CFTP. cross my fingers dat it'll go through by tomorrow.

well think dats all i'm gonna blog for now. feeling lazy and tired and stressed. kinda emotionally drained in a way too. think i'm going mad soon. hahahah later

:: not trying to be disrespectful but darn, dont they have cute butts? *grin* :: 

:: more of the beautiful lady butterfly Freedom :: 

:: this is their symbol of Freedom. pretty cool hey? its beautiful. :: 

:: biker man dude with his cool BMW :: 

:: UTS biker boys!! suddenly i feel so proud to be from UTS. *beam* :: 

:: did i mention motorbike babes? *ahem* :: 

:: motorbikes babes part 2:: 

:: e beautiful motorbikes babes with their gals :: 

:: the crowd awaits for Mardi Gras on Oxford Street :: 

:: me and sweetie feargal wif his cutie teddy. awwwwww~ :: 

:: me, audrey & e Mardi Gras flag :: 

:: theres dave at the top!! lol :: 

:: the whole lot of us, except dave is missing.....hmm :: 

:: me.audrey.jescho.peggy ::us girls going nuts with the free stickers on our faces 

:: chilling out with audrey at starbucks in Oxford St while waiting for christian n co. Check out the pink theme they haf for mardi gras :: 

Mardi Gras ; Hang-Over?

met up with audrey, christian, dave, hanyu, jescho n peggy at Oxford yesterday evening n we all waited for the Mardi Gras parade from 4pm till it finally started at around 7ish. it wasnt so bad this year. slightly better than last year or perhaps it was the crowd i'm with that makes a difference? :) felt good to meet up with u guys after so long

the parade ended at 930pm n headed to the korean restaurant along george street for our dinner. it was sooo packed but managed to get a table pretty fast. after which we walked down to Posh Bar to haf a after-dinner drink. man, i ordered a vodka lime n i swear, it was soo strong that i woke up today with a heavy head on my shoulder which weighed like a ton, and still am right now!! argh... shld have told them to juz give me 1/2 nip of vodka and the rest lime juice. hahahahaha

puffy is playin by himself right now. juz finished e noodles i cooked earlier on n i'm still feeling stoned n dazed. accompanied karen to get a new light bulb for the toilet while i got some groceries from paddys n thai kee. sigh... i hate this feeling man. "i so need some love" quoted by francisco. hahahaha. everyone's out now. chrissy gone out with johnson n karen went out with her SDS mates. i think i'll start looking for jobs after next week, once i settle my enrolment n get everything confirmed.

the weather is so cold today. went out with my quarter sleeve tee & jeans n its chillingly cold. think karen is gonna be freezing later today with the dress n sweater she wore out with. juz gotta love sydney's weather right now. autumn - spring. no summer pls. hehehhh damn!! i juz remember that i haf to read thru my law textbook later. well least theres something for me to do for the time being. desmond called this morning but was still slping so din bother picking up the phone. smsed him when i woke up, askin him when hes free to pass me back my stuffs n also the AUD$100 he owed me. till now, no reply from him. tsk tsk tsk.

i start to realise some stuffs as one gets older. guys are getting weird-er and well...sometimes things can be so much simplier, if u want it to. it has got me thinking..... is it juz me or do guys nowadays tend to cheat outside so frequently now that makes you think, is there really a thing known as staying faithful to each other, till death do us apart? i begin to see that attached guys still sleeps around and going after other girls. what is going on lately? has Cupid been slacking too or did the whole society just doesnt care so much anymore? whats the whole point of being attached with someone if one still remains unfaithful to the other? whats the significant of being in a relationship? is it for the sake of having a name or the convenience of knowing someone will definately be there for you if you cant find others?

Also, sometimes i guess its not totally good to be pretty n beautiful. although u'll have alot of choices to choose from, but then there is the thought of is he being nice to me for who i am or what i am? i see the dilema my frens are in right now and sometimes althou i envy them, still theres a part of me thinking i'm lucky not to be in their shoes. sure i dont have their figure or not as attractive as they are, there are still guys liking me for who i am. it takes time for them to realise the real me of cos but i guess that is how good bonds are being made. sometimes part of me do wish to be like them. to not feel lonely when u cant seems to find anyone or feels like nobodys listening and shit. being them still have disadvantages of another kind. shld i change to be like one of them? will i be happier or will i be even more emotionally hurt?

+ to be or not to be +

+ thanks for making my day brighter .tianli. +

+ its the little things in life which makes it so worthwhile +

Hmmmm....

went to get back my stuffs from correne's place this morning :) met ken at kingsford maccas at 11ish and maange to get everything done in one trip by 1pm. now i've got boxes everything. in and out of my room. not good. hahahaha spent like half of my afternoon tidying it up. hope to tidy up my whole room by this week. called up the mattress lady and said my mattress shld be delivered by this weekend. darn! told her to get to get it delivered asap. its so weird seeing my room without a mattress *shrugs*

was watching MEDIUM juz now on telly. its those supernatural shows featuring this detective lady cum mother who has psychic abilities. not too bad a show. this week was about her daughter who happened to have her special abilities as well and met this boy called Bobby. became her best fren at school cos nobody wanna play with her. in the end, the mother came n 'rescue' Bobby and her daughter found another good friend at school during recess. which kinda made me think about my childhood days... *sigh* yes felicia is being oh-so-emotional again.

the telly's still on and am sipping on my PU ER tea, while blogging this up. my whole body's aching right now!!! well..more like my whole back. slipped down the stairs few nights ago and landed on my bum. was telling debby bout it and she told me to apply ointment on it. totally forgotten bout the ointment part. hahaha guess i cant be bother to see the doctor right now until its like...bad. kekeke Puffy is chewing on his bed under the table as i typed. karen n chrissy has gone to jonathan's place to chill i think. prefered to stay home n try tidying up my room. plus going out means spending money so yeah... and i need to try and contact the people regarding my enrolment problem. argh!! meeting up with francis tmr for late night shopping. he wanna get more new shirts for work. hahahaha still cant help thinking bout the way francis looked yesterday. boy. he and his new hairstyle..along with his shirt. *giggles* :P

SBS is showing Ring 2 later at 1130pm. not sure if i'm gonna watch it... karen said she'll come back home n accompany me. feeling kinda lazy now too. think i better go type out the email now.. later~

Location : Sydney

yes. i'm back in sydney after 3 mths of summer break. it was all good. din really manage to catch up with many friends, juz the close n some new ones. spent like close to 1 mth plus in KL and 1 mth plus in Singapore. going for coffee-sessions, bitchin, shoppin, bumming ard n spending time with my parents n grandparents. it was good meeting up with my relatives n cousins too. but time never stood still for anyone. in a blink of an eye, i'm back in sydney. touched down at 11:32am on a monday morning. din manage to sleep much. dozed off while watching THE INCREDIBLES. hahahaha guess i was too tired. it was a good flight i guess. chatted with this girl on the plane going back sydney. apparently she was born in taiwan or was it her parents are from taiwan and grew up in sydney. now taking up a cpa course at UTS. very pretty. wanted to get her contact number but in the end din. dont ask me why.... i was thinking bout it but dunno if she was ok with it or not. heck i'm not a guy also. wahhahaha~ anyway yeah. one of the air stewardess was really weird. very eager to take back our plates n all. the girl beside me was kinda pissed i guess. the air stewardess was about to take away her plate when she stopped her cos she was still drinking of cup of tea. quite awkward. weird lah..

was planning to go to bed when joe called up. called him twice earlier but nobody answered. apparently the 1st time i called he was sleeping n 2nd time he was in e cinema. hahahah glad he called back thou :) now waiting for him to call me back as hes on his way back home now. oh and francisco visited me today!! how sweet of him *grin* but he looked really tired. everyone was so tired today. met up with johnny in uni and he sounded edgy cos he was working in the morning and karen came back home after a long day at work looking tired as well.. and guess wat!? accidentally bumped into choung today at tower building. looking as handsome as ever. saw his lil brother too. had a good small chat with him. been awhile since i last saw him. sweet :))

hmm....tomorrow morning gonna meet up with ken at kingsford maccas. hes helping me to move my stuffs from correne's place over to my new place. very kind of him. juz hope i'm able to get up early n meet him!!

took plenty of pics back in singapore. but not using my computer now so gonna upload them later. need to send those pics over to egeria, avril and elmer too. lynn, andrew, elmer and weiquan met up with me th night before i flew. was suppose to catch a movie with lynn, andrew and elmer but by the time we got there, all the 9ish movie slots was all sold out..kinda disappointed. ended up at SUKI SUSHI for dinner cos lynn n andrew hasnt had theirs. was really glad they spent time with me before i flew.... at the end of the night after dinner, weiquan came over to cineleisure n drove us back to my place. we bummed ard till 1ish in the morning when weiquan had to go home, followed by elmer 2am and lynn n andrew later. sad dat everyone has to leave actually. guess dats how life is. thanks guys for spending my last hours in singapore with me. missing u people lots. avril.egeria.elmer.weiquan.lynn.andrew.weixiong.jonathan lee.jonathan my senior...etc etc

so excited dat i'm gonna get my stuffs back tmr!!! den i can finally pack my room once my stupid mattress arrives dunno when. argh!! the lady said latest by sunday. fark. but chrissy was nice enough to let me sleep on her mattress, sharing the room with karen. while chrissy goes over to her bf's place. hahahahahahahha. plus theres a doggy now to keep me company when i'm back home n nobody's around :)

yeah..so thats wat been happening lately. still waiting for joe to come to sydney. along with evan, andrea, lynn, andrew, egeria, jonathan(s) and davinia. did i miss out anyone? :P anyone~!!!!!! everyone!!! lol.

.have a good night.