every beat of my heart

Thursday, February 03, 2005
@3:44 AM

Dinner

followed my dad to one of his formal dinner functions earlier on. Quite interesting. Been there before last year and decided to tag along this year to see if there's any changes. Still the same.. Same people, same food, same atmosphere. Ah yes, its an anuual chinese new year festive ballroom dinner function organised by the China Embassedor at JW Marriot Hotel in KL. My dad told me bout it this afternoon and i was like so unprepared for it. Got nothing formal to wear cos my formal clothes are all back in Spore, so its either jeans n top or else not going. Well so yeah, decided to juz stick with my white top n jeans. Kinda like a smart casual wear so it wasnt that bad. Plus my dad will be going alone, might as well tag along and accompany him :P

Came back around 10 plus. The event started at 7pm and ended at 9pm. Wanted to stop by this makan place to grab a quick bite as my dad din really had much to eat. But it was bout to close when we got there. Got home n made bread for him instead. hahaha anything is better than having instant noodles right? took some pics after the dinner and was playin ard with it for awhile.

Boy, time sure flies by fast... Almost been 1 mth i'm in KL. Gotta meet up with Sheila n Matt before I go back Spore. Shld be heading back on the 3rd week of Feb. after which gotta fix up some stuffs over at the other home and thennn pack my luggages again. *sigh* gonna miss everyone here... but then again cant wait to see wats this yr is gonna be in sydney. i'm being all e-motional again... looking thru the photos for the past few years really brings back alot of wonderful n unforgetable memories. the many new friends i've made n old friends i've kept. the good n bad times. the ups n downs. the unbearable loneliness, sense of insecurity, homesickness n stressful studies. what will my life be after my graduation? will it be the way it is of now? doing nothing, slacking at home n watching time slips by. its scary thinking bout it really. i've got lots of dreams but realising it is another thing. its like the older u get, the harder life is. nobody ever tell us about this. and wat can we do? juz try to embrace it as much as we can... and learn from our mistakes, improve ourselves, etc etc etc... sometimes its juz so freaking tiring. some things are easier said than done. no matter how hard one tries, one juz fails time n time again. wat does it mean then? we're not trying hard enuff? sometimes i juz feel like giving up. giving up on life. so dat all my loved ones wun suffer as much as i did. i've tried my best but sometimes i juz cant take it no more. people says failure is the seed to success. *sigh* maybe i didnt put my all best in it... juz maybe... i should concentrate on my life for once. juz me, myself n i. but i know i cant... there are still people like my frens n loved ones who needs me when they're in need. i guess i treasure them more than anything. i can juz give my time to them when they needed a fren ard to listen, even thou it might i've got a test or exam tmr.. i guess its juz me. i know its bad but i'm trying my best to sort my time out properly... i really am...

well, gonna make a call soon so i shall stop here for now. hahaha thanks for sticking ard after readin so much crap i've wrote. To all my friends out there, if you feel that god is making a fool out of urself or ur life is juz damn shitty, hang in there buddies. stay strong and u'll see dat rainbow with its pot of gold on the other side. remember to keep smiling n be positive. like me. hahahahahahha right!

nitex -xoxox-